silentsecrets.net

Yet again I have failed to post regularly. Sorry.

I finally got my car back and have gotten into the swing of school again. My financial accounting class is actually almost through (2 classes and a final)… which is still throwing me off a little bit.

I just had my first Calculus exam last night and it put me through so much stress. I don’t know how I did… and if I did really bad, I may have to repeat the course.

Other than that, things are okay. Finally recovering from a week of massive sinus pressure from the high ragweed pollen. That stuff is just icky.

I had planned to have updated the design on this blog between the last post and this one… but Calculus has been kicking my butt too much for me to pay attention to the design I had going. It will appear… someday, I promise.

But I am also trying to get my personal domain up and running… for a portfolio that should have been in existence at least a year ago. Poop.

So, yeah that’s the state of my mind for now: calculus is crappy, and I need to stop slacking around with my personal projects.

♥

It’s been a little while since I posted last. I apologize but a lot has been going on since then.

I started classes on Monday. Here is a list of the few classes I’m taking:

• Applied Calculus I (Business Calculus)
• Financial Accounting (1st 8-week term)
• Managerial Accounting (2nd 8-week term)

I had a rude awakening when I went to my Calculus class. We went very quickly over a review chapter of College Algebra and I found out I had forgotton a lot! Mostly all the formulas… including the quadratic formula. So for the past 3 days I have been pouring myself over this chapter, redrilling these formulas into my head.

Other than that it looks like I will finally get my car fixed this weekend… or at least I hope so. I pray this part I need replacing turns off that darned ‘Service Engine’ light.

In between studying and more studying I have tried to do more web design projects for personal use and for my portfolio. I should be updating the theme soon to something a bit more custom.

♥

Yesterday, after getting my acceptance letter in the mail, I went down to the university and enrolled in three classes: Applied Calculus I, Financial Accounting, and Managerial Accounting. I will only be taking two courses at a time, since the Calculus class runs the entire semester, but the accounting classes are only 8-week sessions.

It’s nice to be back in school. I’m only slightly disappointed in the fact that all the classes I’m taking this semester are just prerequisites for other classes. None of them actually count towards the Master’s degree.

And while I’m on the negative side of this, I found out I have to fulfill two requirements to be able to enroll next semester. 1) pass the GMAT or GRE and 2) provide three letters of reccomendation.

I’m not really worried about the test. I know I’m taking the GMAT because its more relevant for business degrees. I’m more concerned about the letters of reccomendation. It’s not something I have experience with. I don’t have any employers I can ask, so it all boils down to any advisors or professors. I have two in mind and a possible third.

It’s the asking for a reccomendation that has me on edge. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bit shy, but I’m really nervous when asking someone for something. I will do it, but it will cost me a few days or weeks of worrying until I get it done.

On a lighter note, I think the kid will be going down to Houston with my aunt and uncle along with the niece and nephew for a week. It will give me a chance to straighten up and work on studying for the GMAT and writing those letter requests.

Wish me luck on that. ♥

Well I applied to university I earned my bachelor’s. I applied for a Master of Science in Accounting and Information Management. I hope I get accepted.

I’m excited about possibly going back to school. Like I said before, I love classes. I just worry a little, like always. I feel as though I’m just waiting again.

I do plan to take an aggressive search for internships as soon as I possibly can. I will be contacting the business school’s career resource as soon as classes start!

Things haven’t really been moving around here other than that. I got my car back today (woot!) but it still stalls sometimes at the light — though I can just restart it. It only did it once when I drove it from my brother’s house. He claimed out of driving it to and from work for a week (he drives 70 miles a day by the way) it only stalled two, three times.

So, I guess my dad and I will be taking it to Auto Zone and getting one of those free diagnostic scans to see if it can pick up why the engine light is on and/or why it is stalling out.

I suppose I feel a bit better.. what with applying to school and getting the car back. I just feel like I’m at a standstill until I hear back from the school. Not necessarily a bad thing; I just wish I was making a bit more progress.

♥

The last few days have been difficult. A person really close to me is going through a very rough patch and I can’t really help him. The only thing I can do is to try to push positive energy his way and to try to be here for moral support.

It makes me wish more and more that I had a stable career and a place of my own.. something I could offer for others when they need support.

Which brings me to the argument I’ve been going over in my mind. What to do about my career. I haven’t fully made a decision yet. It was over mostly of continuing with web design or go into teaching.

…but I had another urge I’ve wanted to pursue. Before going into the arts degree I was planning to get an accounting degree. The one thing that has prevented me from going back to it… is this feeling that I shouldn’t go back to school for it.

I suppose I feel guilty? I feel like I wasted my time before. I enjoyed my time pursuing the arts and I don’t really regret my degree… only the fact that it hasn’t managed to get me a job.

I talked to my mother a little about my situation and my feelings about going to school… she seems to think I should go for it, but ultimately it’s my decision. I know.

I am going to try to talk to a counselor at the school about it. Fall semester starts Aug. 21, so I should get registered if I pursue it. If I get another bachelor’s degree at the very least, I only have half the time to go to get it.

I won’t deny the thought of going back so school excites me some. I love school.

♥

Today dragged on and on for me. I’ve been feeling completely drained for the past two days, but especially today. Sometimes being a woman really sucks, if you get my drift.

I spent most of my day reading and just relaxing because everytime I got up my back ached or I felt light-headed. I’m hoping tomorrow I have more strength back. I really had some ideas rolling in my head that I wanted to get done today. Plus, I was hoping to start an exercise routine today. It will have to wait for tomorrow.

I received my THEA results today. In order to be admitted to the Teacher Certification Program at my university I had to pass the Reading portion with a certain grade. I had no question of passing, it was more if I could pass it with a high enough score. I did.

It has been on my mind for awhile. Do I really want to be a math teacher? It’s something I haven’t really thought about for very long. I only really went to the advisor so I could get a better idea about teaching.

I’m hesitant to actually enroll in the program because I feel like I know what I want to do, and it isn’t teaching.

I love web design but sometimes I feel like I can never catch up to those I look up to (Brian Veloso and Steve Smith to name a couple). I’m beginning to think I need a mentor in the industry to help me get started.

I feel guilty. I have been out of university for a year and a half and still haven’t much to show for it. I suppose I thought I would be out on my own making a name for myself already. I feel bad for trying to pursue what I want when a lot of people around me aren’t doing what they want to do… but can support themselves and their families.

I know what I should do. I should pursue my dream. I should keep going at it and eventually it will fall into place. I just hate depending on people while I do so.

♥

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m on the edge of something important, a big turning point in my life. It’s both exciting and scary at the same time. I’m ready for some big changes in my life but I’m hesitant. Changes require decisions. Can I make the decisions I need to make? How can I be sure I make the right choices?

Decisions are hard for me. I keep turning the pros and cons of all my options in my mind over and over again until I make myself crazy. I’m at the point where I’m wondering if I should try to continue pursuing what I know I enjoy or do something I know I could do well but don’t know if I would enjoy it.

It’s hard for me to know what to do because I want to see results now. I want to be happy with what I do, but I need to support my family as well. I want to pursue my dreams while I’m still young, but I feel guilty for doing so.

Besides trying to do with myself career-wise, my life has been good. Not great mind you, but not having too many troubles makes life good.

I’m in a great relationship right now and it just makes me so much happier every day I wake up. Honestly, I haven’t felt this good ever. It scares me because I’m so taken aback by the whole situation. Everything about this relationship is new and completely changing the way I think of people and my own feelings about life and love. It’s a good thing really. I’m learning things I like and enjoy instead of being what someone else wants me to be.

It’s going to be really interesting the next few weeks as I try to sort my mind out, but I think in the end I will come out ready for the next challenge to come my way.

♥